


Konnichiwa Kappukēki/Hello Cupcake

by Lhiannon27



Category: Bleach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 09:44:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10828725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lhiannon27/pseuds/Lhiannon27
Summary: Illustrated Guide to Soul Reapersshinigami zukan





	Konnichiwa Kappukēki/Hello Cupcake

We stood back to back, in the dark, somewhere between two and three in the morning, at the perimeter of Division Four. I say back to back but her head didn’t even reach my mid-back. I still didn’t know how she’d put me in her thrall and convinced me this was not only a good idea but that it would be fun. I was grateful it was in the dead of the night. I stood there in the most insane outfit I’d ever allowed to touch my flesh; a fluffy, poofy skirt of unidentifiable black and purple material that flared out from my waist a good eighteen inches and really didn’t cover my butt, black and purple striped stockings as well as a garter at each thigh, glossy shoes with almost too tall squared heels and buckles across the tops, a way too tight for my ample breasts black bustier bound with purple ribbon that had two little poofs at each shoulder as an excuse for straps or sleeves. The whole outfit was topped off with a hat of sorts that sat on the back of my head in the shape of a cupcake with a cherry on the top. Her outfit matched other than it was black and pink, the skirt on hers stopped mid thigh on her, her shoes had no heel, and her cupcake hat engulfed her whole head. I had absolutely no idea where she obtained them or chose something that would fit me exactly.  


“We must be nimble,” she said 

“Yes.” I replied. 

“Swift.”

“Of course.” 

“Defeat any who oppose us.” 

I nodded.  


We flashed over to and into the kitchen. Then it was time for me to do what I’d been conscripted for. The Shinigami were all trained in combat. They used their reiatsu for speed, battle, but we dia bás used fuinneamh anam for numerous applications. This would be no different. I darted about gathering the necessary ingredients. That’s when this adventure became difficult. Yachiru started bouncing around to see what I was doing, asking no end of questions, dipping her fingers into everything to taste it. Thankfully nothing got spilled, knocked over, or broken. The trickiest part of this endeavor was tweaking the oven temperature. Had to push with my fuinneamh just enough to assure the batter cooked through without burning. Eventually, having to dodge Yachiru the whole time, they were done. What would normally take a couple of hours was completed in fifteen to twenty minutes. She convinced me we should just leave the mess, which sounded just as reasonable to me as this entire escapade, and darted back to Division Eleven with all four trays. 

We set them all out across the table. She’d made flowers and other decorations appear from nowhere. It was when she decided we had to have dishes things started to go wrong. I tried telling her she was carrying far too many and she dropped them. The crash seemed like an explosion to my ears. 

Yumichika and Ikkaku darted in soon after alert for danger but still droopy with sleep. Yumichika’s eyes sparkled and he smiled and finished setting and adorning the table for us. Ikkaku just plunked himself down and started eating.  


We sat talking and eating for several minutes, when a booming, sleepy voice came into the room. “What’s all this noise?” Abruptly, I felt enormous hands wrap around my ribs and I was lifted into the air and placed an a very broad shoulder. “Hello kappukēki,” his deep voice said way too close to my ear. 

It was that precise moment I realized I was still wearing the damn cupcake shaped hat. At some point not only had Yachiru shed hers, but she was back in her shihakushō. Little imp! I pulled the hat off my head and tossed it on the floor. 

“Fuck off Zaraki,” I responded with a smile on my face. 

“Fuck off?! I live here.” He lifted his shoulder just enough to unbalance me and I slid down his torso back to the floor. 

“Here Kenny!” Yachiru cried as she appeared upon his back and across the shoulder I’d just been sitting on. She shoved a cupcake into his mouth. 

“Mmmmmm,” he said over the food. “Not bad.” 

“Cici made them!” Yachiru exclaimed to everyone. 

She convinced him to sit with the others and he too was eating and drinking comfortably. 

Right near daybreak a face poked through the door. “Hey, have you guys seen Ciani? I cannot seem to find…” Renji trailed off in mid-sentence as he stepped into the room. 

I stood up to greet him and his eyes went wide then he blushed head to toe. He then realized where he was and who he was in front of and rapidly regained his composure – mostly. “Wh…wha...what…what are you wearing?!” he stuttered. 

“Yachiru and I went on an adventure,” I replied. I picked up one of the small cakes and walked over to him. “Here, have one,” I said as I lifted it toward Renji’s mouth with the intention of feeding some to him. My hand suddenly changed direction and smashed the cake into Renji’s face. I looked down and noticed Ikkaku’s arm controlling mine. I’d been so focused on Renji’s lips I hadn’t noticed. 

I snatched my hand away. “You think so, huh?” I asked Ikakku. 

Ikkaku’s face spread into his creepy but endearing smile. Before I could get back to the table to retaliate, a cake was smashed onto the top of his head. 

“That wasn’t nice, Baldy!” Yachiru fussed at him. 

Immediately, the whole room exploded in a barrage of flying food and dishes. By the time there was nothing left to throw we were all in huge gloppy sticky mess – even Yumichika. Once some frosting got in his hair he swore vengeance. 

“I’m going back to bed,” grumbled Zaraki’s retreating voice. “Make sure this shit is cleaned up!” 

He left us in that sticky gloppy pile laughing uproariously.


End file.
